Reports Archive
1st October 2008
By Franco Vaccaro
Bertie Ekperigin, President pro tempore was in her smartest uniform to mind the ship while Gray was away. She told how she’d surprised herself on how far she’d come in two short years, to be now wearing the captain’s medallion around her neck.
From one president to (Immediately-Past) another, Sonia Aste took the helm of her beloved “Best Club in the World” (as voted by its members) and steered us through the high seas, and onto the Port, on time. Sue Kennedy was minding the clock, and reminded us that “time and tide wait for no man”. “Cute” (as voted by Sonia) Andrew Dias minded our “verbal non-words” and asked us to replace these with pauses.
Prepared Speeches show cased two cracking ice-breakers: one from Heidi Ashley-Hacker, who just joined last week and introduced us to the threes sides of her life; and Jim Marshall-Andrew who revealed the nut within his nutshell, which got cracked by a flying golf ball. OUCH! John Craddock re-presented his brilliantly acted toff-cum-cockney-cum-toff contest speech in its new Corinthians-winning format (besta-luk John for d’area!). Dorothea seduced us with her stats, before warning about their abuse in the shadow of truth.
Evaluations had Andrew Klimaytys ticking all of Heidi’s boxes, which struck him with fear at the thought of “H” being hot on his trail. Contest Champion, Jim McCluskey injected large doses of humour in his evaluation of (the other) Jim’s speech, proving why he was a winner with his club. Pamela Smith had the tough job of evaluating John’s contest rehearsal and gave him some kernels of sage advice. Pilar Sibbick described Dorothea’s presentation as efficient and academic, and took pleasure in Dorothea’s deft handling of Jim Mc’s cunning question, seeing it off with a brilliant text book answer.
Table Topics was chaired by that treasured, and most treasurable of treasures, Jenny Betts, who invited discussion and debate on the decrepit state of the economy. Eight quick-thinking speakers took it in turn to ponder and pontificate on: If I were Prime Minister (Franco); money-saving tips (new member Robert Yuen), throwing a redundancy party (Jim M-A), cashing-in investments (Tony), giving-up spending (Jeremy); saver or spender be (Rees), dealing with redundancy (Guy); credit crunch advice for a five-year old (Pilar).
Claudia Cronjaeger gave her usual observant, funny and friendly feedback to her subjects. Honourable New Yorker, Paulino Carroll, the man who never sleeps, did a terrific big-apple evaluation.
Awards to Jim for Evaluation, Jeremy for Topics and John for Speech.
Reminder to all to support Jim and Celia at Area 29 competition on Monday 6th at Trojan Speakers, Ealing; and John Craddock at Area 06 on Monday 13th October.
24th September 2008
Our 11th Autumn Contest in the frosty Hyde Room at York House began, necessarily, with a rousing warm-up!
Our genial Humorous Speech Chairman, Duncan Hyde, introduced the candidates one by one. First up was broadcaster Jeremy Nicholas, with a speech entitled “Words don’t come easy”, about how recovers from verbal gaffes. Swan Treasure astounded us, first with her milkmaid’s costume and second with her story about “The No-No Angel”, who wanted to get rid of her wings. Then came a voice out of Raymond Chandler, complete with a snappy hat and shades - it was Jim McCluskey, giving us “Mobile phones revisited”, a funny tale of strange encounters on a bus. This was followed by some first-rate acting, as posh John Craddock told us, “I wasn’t always a toff”, and proved it with a great cockney accent and lots of rhyming slang.
Andrew Klimaytys got stuck into “50, the scourge of the living”, a Saga about all the curious things which happen when you reach your half century. Next we were treated to Franco Vaccaro and “A short study of the anatomy of an investment bank and the menace of greed”. Whew! He’s decided not to become a trader after all. Sonia Aste presented her “Go to Tesco, feed the fishes, phone my mother, do the dishes” speech, about all of her to-do list tyrants, including her Medusa-haired sister!
Jim won first prize, Caine second and Sonia third.
Jenny Betts, with her elegant presence and wonderful voice, chaired the Table Topics [impromptu speaking] Contest, with 10 candidates (Gray Standen, Sonia Aste, John Craddock, Elizabeth Poole, Andrew Klimaytys, Franco Vaccaro, Celia Jones, Geetha Mazarelo,Caine B Free, Swan Treasure,) all answering the following question:
'Ghandi said, 'You must be the change you wish to see in the world. Do you agree?'
Gray took the question at face value and agreed with Ghandi. Sonia compared change by others to changes you make yourself, to which you have to commit. John advised people to think for themselves, be responsible for things rather than blaming others. Elizabeth advised people not to under-estimate their on influences on change. Andrew suggested making the changes you want to make. Franco talked about the trials and tribulations of changing himself, and how a guru might help.
Celia interpreted change as small change, and suggested that we give banknotes to charity, instead of coins. Geetha didn’t agree with Ghandi, saying that one could start a movement, but not finish it. Caine took an entirely different direction - straight into the pub for a night of changing drinks (beer > cocktails > etc.). Swan said that if your intentions were good, your heart would follow.
Celia won first prize, Caine won second and John won third.
The Contests were ably upported by Chief Judge Gilly Cutts and her panel of judges; by Timekeepers Andrew Dias and Neil Mason; by Counters Gail Joslin and Maria Hemming; and by Sue Kennedy, who ran an all-too-brief Table Topics session while ballots were being counted.
See the News page for photographs of the competitors, and the winners, who will go forward to the Area Contest at Trojans Speakers on Monday 6th October.
17 September 2008 -Table Topics – The Art of Impromptu Speaking
By Dorothea Stuart
The mission of Workshop Leader, London Corinthians’ Ian Millen… to convince us that impromptu speaking can be scary AND exciting. As a self-confessed Table Topics addict he clearly wanted everyone to love topics too.
Ian emphasised that practicing table topics in a Toastmasters meeting will develop you in many ways – increasing your confidence and building your overall speaking skills.” In a highly participative evening Ian guided newer members and guests through their first table topics while giving experience members a chance to practice and demonstrate their skill.
We now know Elizabeth is a brilliant impromptu speaker! She did her first topic ever, a fantasy question about being a secret agent. Lulled into thinking she’d done her bit, she was bounced back to the stage. Her second topic was a thoughtful, touching description of a treasure childhood memory – the day she realised she could swim.
Ian cleverly used the topics answers to illustrate his key tips. These included:
• If you don’t have a factual answer make something up (as Elizabeth and John did with the secret agent theme and Geetha did with her bizarre version of fly fishing)
• Personal stories are great material (for example, Pamela’s childhood memory of a fancy dress party and Tony’s story of having his hair shaved off when he joined the army)
• Gather material. Keep a notebook or scrapbook so you build a useful resource. A newspaper report you’ve read or joke you’ve heard can be recycled. These prime your mind, which is better than attempting to use answers prepared in advance.
• You can give the question a twist, answering it in an unexpected way (as Andrew Klimaytys did speaking about clan McDonald and Scottish heritage when the questioner had expected an answer about McDonalds fast food). We expected no less of our reigning London Division B Table Topics Champion!
• If you need time to think, walk slowly to the front of the room, use a formal greeting, repeat the question.
Ian concluded by sharing his top two secrets for successful topics:
1) Build up your material. Make sure you have plenty to draw on.
2) The Three Ps. Practice, Practice, Practice. Use these and you’ll learn to trust yourself and your ability to come up with an answer to any question.
Thanks Ian for providing plenty of practice and drawing out the varied material our speakers entertained us with.
Monday 8th September 2008
World Premiere Humorous Speaking Workshop with Rainer Hersch and Jeremy Nicholas
Eager to learn from the professionals, Riverside Communicators and friends from other Toastmasters clubs crammed into a church hall in Ham (of all places)!
We were treated to an excellent demonstration of how to give humorous presentations. Jeremy and Rainer have very different personal styles - we got two for the price of one.
Key themes that emerged particularly relevant for writing/performing humorous speeches were:
Know your audience. Rainer emphasised how his stand up comedy is written for a specific audience. When he gives his larger set performances he researches to top and tail each piece to relate it to a particular corporate audience. The message: include everyone so they feel involved.
Be yourself. Your humour should suit your style. Rainer has developed “a comedic extension of my own personality”. Jeremy emphasised recognising if you’re taking a high or low status stance: being comic at others’ expense or being the butt of the joke.
Work and rework your material. Try out your speech on anyone who’ll stay still long enough. Record yourself. Listen for the things that work and don’t work. Cut, cut, cut until only the good bits are left. You need to be ruthless. Paraphrasing “Q”, Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch, Jeremy pithily put it. “Kill your babies. If it doesn’t work get rid of it”.
When performing, make a connection quickly. If you can make your audience chuckle early on they’ll trust you as you work though a story. They’ll be prepared to wait for the comedy to hit them.
Develop material: Brainstorm at the start. Jot down ideas, play with them. Lose your “internal editor”. Keep a humour notebook and capture stories, words, names. Precise details often make a story achingly funny. Write them down before you forget.
Jeremy gave us THREES - the recipe for telling a funny story from Professor Mel Helitzer (see Comedy Writing Secrets by Mel Helitzer and Mark Schatz). This provides a great way to create a new speech or analyse and improve an existing one.
Target – who is the victim of the humour. Hostility whom are you going to ridicruel. Realism – based in real experience, preferably your own. Exaggeration – make funnier by amplifying. Emotion – will your audience care what happens, feel it? Surprise – humour works best with a twist.
Thanks Rainer and Jeremy for a masterclass. We loved listening to you and picked up some great tips.
Toastmasters Blog
3rd September, 2008, was the date that the command flight of airline Toast Master International took off into previously unexplored areas of discursive space. On the flight deck was ace test pilot Gray and air-hostess extraordinary Bertie.
Gail recorded flight times with her usual grace and perspicacity and the flight got under way with an advanced speech No.4 from the Persuasive Speaking Manual delivered by Franco. The title of the speech was ‘Finger-licking Good’ and we were treated to a most stimulating dissertation on the delights and many benefits of good quality food. The sugary foods products of the junk foods industry were given the thumbs down and although the convenience benefits of supermarkets was recognised their overall influence on our food habits was not good. Franco’s speech was greatly appreciated for his usual professionalism, charm and good humour.
The second and only other speech of the evening was delivered by Jim. In a No. 10 speech with the title of ‘Believing’, he banged on about the extreme gullibility of our present society that will apparently believe almost anything if presented by authority figures. He enrolled the wisdom of the Buddha to back up his argument that the belief that matters the most is belief in oneself and outlined the two competing theories about the formation of self – the ‘Blank Slate’ theory and the Acorn Theory; the former contending that there is nothing there at birth and the latter that says ‘Oh yes there is’.
There was an early five minute break which overran, as is the custom, followed by an extended table topics session most ably and charmingly conducted by both Swan and Andrea, with 24 table topics on their list. Most of these were addressed; the modest theme being ‘exploration of life in all its forms’.
Claudia regretted not having travelled the world in a caravan – yet. Geetha urged a proper and very limited use of trade barriers. Trevor painted an alluring picture of the ideal tea party complete with alluring attendants. Dave expressed some foreboding at burgeoning power of the feminine – not to say women. Ian Harrison explained how he coped with the fear of flying by rendering himself legless before boarding and Andrew, having been asked to confront the Devine presented a peroration on his divan which, with cunning logic, morphed into the perennial skirmish in the war of the sexes regarding who controls the ‘remote’ when watching television in bed – romantic comedy versus blood-and-guts mayhem that lulls the male to a good night’s sleep.
Evaluators Sue and Trevor did an outstanding job as did the general evaluator, Dave Brooks, and, as ever, a great time was had by all.
Jim
4.9.08
Meeting 27th August 2008
By Prezza
It was a lovely evening (i.e., no rain) and a lovely room, complete with chandelier and sconces. The good turn-out included two guests, Yvonne Lintner and Jim Marshall- Andrew.
Our President began by urging members to sign up for the Humorous Speech and Table Topics contest on 24th September, and then handed over to advanced member, Andrew Kilmaytys, looking dapper in a summer suit, who guided us through the programme.
First were the speeches: Jeanette Kruger gave her No. 2 speech on ‘The power of smell’ in which she evoked her South African childhood; then came Elizabeth Poole’s No. 3 speech, entitled ‘The pen is mightier than the email’, in which she gave a touching example of the healing power of long-kept letters; Anil Ramchandani delivered his topical No. 4 speech, “Knowing me, knowing you”, about the pros and cons of the Information Age; and, finally, Gail Joslin gave her No. 9 speech entitled ‘The power of one”, which persuaded us all to make our marks on the world.
Sue Kennedy, Jenny Betts, Zahid Bashir and Geetha Mazarelo evaluated the speeches, praising the things the speakers had done well and giving them tips, often with demonstrations or examples, of how they could improve.
Dean van Leeuwen, in his first role as Topicsmaster. asked individual members (John Craddock, Pilar Sibbick, Maria Hemming and our two guests) to give impromptu responses to ‘out of body’ situations, like awakening in the morning to find you had changed sex or being asked by a deer in Richmond Park to name pubs where it could find the best ale - ‘The Roebuck’, as it turned out! Claudia Cronjaeger evaluated all of these contributions with great good humour.
Our Grammarian, Andrea Blackie, in her first time in the role, gave a polished performance, noting use of interesting and effective words or phrases and of rhetorical devices, particularly alliteration, and noting those who used her word of the day - ‘succinct’.
Finally, all the members who hadn’t been evaluated were reviewed by our General Evaluator, Kimra Argus, from West London Speakers, who did her usual competent and observant job.
Prizes went to Elizabeth for Best Speaker, Andrea for Best Evaluator and John aka Johnette for Best Table Topics Speaker. To top off the evening, Jim decided to join Riverside, our first new member this term, so we went off to the pub to celebrate!
Meeting 20th August 2008
By Jim
Despite being in the middle of the holiday period toastmasters enjoyed another superb well-attended meeting; a meeting marked by some outstanding and brilliantly varied speeches as well as a ground-breaking and innovative table-topics.
The meeting was presided over by Gray with her usual good humoured and professional aplomb and our very capable toastmaster for the evening was the relative new-comer Neil Mason. Witty Claudia and personable Andrea made the roles of Grammarian and Timekeeper, respectively, look easy.
Speaker No. 1 was Emma Thomas making her No 2 speech; focusing on her ability to organise her material. We were treated to a highly entertaining story about how a casual discussion of the appropriate response to the treachery of a partner was transposed into an award-winning film with a rather startling body-in-the-cupboard denouement.
Speaker No. 2 was Dean van Leeuwen with a No. 7 speech entitled ‘Unda da see’. The recital of a poem was an effective introduction to a fascinating and enviable description of Dean’s passion for exploring coral reefs. This talk concentrated on research and the imparting of information which was both colourful and varied. A necessary side effect of the talk was some damage to the holiday-paradise image of endless sunbathing on sun-drenched white sands since these turned out to be the poo of a certain coral eating fish – ‘the truth will set you free!’.
Speaker No. 3 (Advanced) was Andrew Klimaytys who undertook, to spectacular effect, the reading of script from a Tony Hancock television episode. Andrew hilariously brought out the incipient hubris as well as the profound ignorance of the Hancock character (as opposed to the humility of his Scottish equivalent Rab C. Nesbitt – ‘See me – Ahm scum!’).
Speaker No. 4. was Geetha Mazarelo (Advanced - Impromptu) – With the deceptive title ‘Life in the old bag yet!’. Geeta made a hearteningly honest speech by examining the contents of her handbag which turned out to embody her life story. The male equivalent of a pocket-contents inspection would not be fractionally so revealing. That must tell us something. Geeta’s presentation won her the accolade of the best speaker award.
Evaluators were Zahid, Dorothea, Sonia, and Sue. What can I say. Such a line-up of stars ensured all evaluations were spot on and state-of-the-art.
Renowned for her quirky wit, Pilar Sibbick surpassed herself as topics master. She concocted the device of calling on participants to take on the parts in a play about a contentious and ill-starred attempt at an arranged marriage.
To start Franco took on the role of the impecunious suitor Antonio to explosive effect unburdening his soul by his passionate announcement of both his love for his desired bride, Maria, and for the killing and consumption of chickens. Jenny ably arranged the reception at which Antonio (now Ian) swore he had abandoned his passion for the canine species and John, acting as the father of Maria extolled the virtues of money and although a compromise solution with the wisdom of Solomon (well perhaps not Solomon) was put forward, proposing marriage to the rich Manuel but with the poor chicken-attached Antonio as her chef, this was rejected and an elopement ensued. And so on.
A hilarious time was had by all.
Meeting 6th August 2008
by Andrea Blackie
Once again, we were fortunate to have a bumper crop of guests joining us for yesterday evening’s meeting. Harish Maru and Area 29 Governor Himanshu Vora were visiting from Trojans, regular visitor Paul Carroll was back, as was Beryl Stiles, and we had two new visitors, York Membery and Shamash Alidina.
Club President Gray Standen welcomed everyone and gave us her top tip on making better speeches: practice, practice, practice! Our energetic Toastmaster Caine Free then fired the starting pistol for an evening with the very topical theme of the Olympic Games. Grammarian Jenny Betts took the baton and ran with it, introducing ‘winning’ as the word of the day and reminding us that poetry and rhetoric were part of the original Olympic Games. Gold medals on the horizon for Riverside in 2012 perhaps?
“Galloping Granny” Sarah Wills gave a hilarious Icebreaker speech on being a born-again Methuselah – complete with song and dance act! We’re looking forward to your next speech, Sarah! Swan Treasure, in her number two speech, spoke eloquently about love and the forces that bind families together, and Andrew Dias, also doing his second speech, showed us how to be survivors and not victims when disaster strikes. Finally, Dorothea Stuart, one of our Advanced Speakers, gave us some fascinating insights into the use of metaphors and how we can turn these to our advantage when preparing speeches.
Table Topics returned to the sporting theme, with ebullient Topicsmaster Sonia Aste interviewing our Riverside Olympians on such serious issues ‘Is badminton silly?’ and whether wrestlers should have a fashion makeover. Our topics speakers responded with wonderful wit, ingenuity and, in several cases, downright deviousness, and a good time was had by all.
General evaluator Celia Jones gave us inspiring and informative feedback to end the evening.
Best Speaker award went to Swan Treasure, best Topics Speaker to Susanne Agerbak, and the Best Evaluator was a three-way tie between Jenny Betts, Simon Herbert and Zahid Bashir.
Another energising and motivating evening at Riverside Communicators, and we look forward to more of the same at our next meeting!
Meeting 30th July 2008
By Bertie Ekperigin
This week the meeting was held in the Salon. This rather grand room with its high ceilings and cornicing set the stage for what was to be a spectacular evening. As the sun-light filtered in through the windows our President, Gray Standen welcomed us all, in her usual friendly way and announced the forthcoming Humorous Speech and Table Topics competitions, and related workshops. Our Toastmaster, Franco Vaccaro did a fantastic warm-up. The audience were invited to tell us what their mother would say about them. There were some very funny answers, including one from Jim McCluskey, who said, “Which one is he?”. Then Franco, in his own inimitable style, introduced the Timekeeper, Elizabeth Poole, and the Grammarian, Jim McClusky and guided us through a highly entertaining evening. Zahid Bashir began his speech in high spirits, singing ‘ Zip a dee doo da’, and attempted to teach us how to “raise our base-line happiness”. Jean Cooper delighted us in her usual, natural way demonstrating ‘Terpischore’ (the science of dance), as she stood on one leg whilst waving the other, and explained that the effect was to send the men crazy wherever she went. Pretty impressive at 80 years of age! Celia Jones gave us her Second ‘Ice-breaker’ (she gave her first 17 years ago), and talked about her many years as a Toastmaster. And finally, Pemma Fox who visited us from London Corinthians, gave us a superb body language speech, in which she talked philosophically about the celebration of life, and death.
After the break, the Topics Master Anil Ramchandani guided us through some amusing topics questions, on the theme of ‘choices’. Sarah Wills was invited to choose between a life of just fruit or just dessert; Beryl Stiles chose comfy shoes over snazzy shoes and even had the perfect props to demonstrate her point. Swan Treasure evaluated Topics and enthused about everyone’s terrific answers and then Jim McCluskey returned to comment on the grammar and the use of, his word of the day, ‘interconnectedness’. Our General Evaluator, Nigel Cutts, from London Cardinals said, “ I loved being here and would love to come again”. Best topics performance went to guest, Beryl Stiles, best evaluator to Bertie Ekperigin and best speech to Jean Cooper.
Meeting 6th August 2008
by Andrea Blackie
Once again, we were fortunate to have a bumper crop of guests joining us for yesterday evening’s meeting. Harish Maru and Area 29 Governor Himanshu Vora were visiting from Trojans, regular visitor Paul Carroll was back, as was Beryl Stiles, and we had two new visitors, York Membery and Shamash Alidina.
Club President Gray Standen welcomed everyone and gave us her top tip on making better speeches: practice, practice, practice! Our energetic Toastmaster Caine Free then fired the starting pistol for an evening with the very topical theme of the Olympic Games. Grammarian Jenny Betts took the baton and ran with it, introducing ‘winning’ as the word of the day and reminding us that poetry and rhetoric were part of the original Olympic Games. Gold medals on the horizon for Riverside in 2012 perhaps?
“Galloping Granny” Sarah Wills gave a hilarious Icebreaker speech on being a born-again Methuselah – complete with song and dance act! We’re looking forward to your next speech, Sarah! Swan Treasure, in her number two speech, spoke eloquently about love and the forces that bind families together, and Andrew Dias, also doing his second speech, showed us how to be survivors and not victims when disaster strikes. Finally, Dorothea Stuart, one of our Advanced Speakers, gave us some fascinating insights into the use of metaphors and how we can turn these to our advantage when preparing speeches.
Table Topics returned to the sporting theme, with ebullient Topicsmaster Sonia Aste interviewing our Riverside Olympians on such serious issues ‘Is badminton silly?’ and whether wrestlers should have a fashion makeover. Our topics speakers responded with wonderful wit, ingenuity and, in several cases, downright deviousness, and a good time was had by all.
General evaluator Celia Jones gave us inspiring and informative feedback to end the evening.
Best Speaker award went to Swan Treasure, best Topics Speaker to Susanne Agerbak, and the Best Evaluator was a three-way tie between Jenny Betts, Simon Herbert and Zahid Bashir.
Another energising and motivating evening at Riverside Communicators, and we look forward to more of the same at our next meeting!
Meeting 30th July 2008
By Bertie Ekperigin
This week the meeting was held in the Salon. This rather grand room with its high ceilings and cornicing set the stage for what was to be a spectacular evening. As the sun-light filtered in through the windows our President, Gray Standen welcomed us all, in her usual friendly way and announced the forthcoming Humorous Speech and Table Topics competitions, and related workshops. Our Toastmaster, Franco Vaccaro did a fantastic warm-up. The audience were invited to tell us what their mother would say about them. There were some very funny answers, including one from Jim McCluskey, who said, “Which one is he?”. Then Franco, in his own inimitable style, introduced the Timekeeper, Elizabeth Poole, and the Grammarian, Jim McClusky and guided us through a highly entertaining evening. Zahid Bashir began his speech in high spirits, singing ‘ Zip a dee doo da’, and attempted to teach us how to “raise our base-line happiness”. Jean Cooper delighted us in her usual, natural way demonstrating ‘Terpischore’ (the science of dance), as she stood on one leg whilst waving the other, and explained that the effect was to send the men crazy wherever she went. Pretty impressive at 80 years of age! Celia Jones gave us her Second ‘Ice-breaker’ (she gave her first 17 years ago), and talked about her many years as a Toastmaster. And finally, Pemma Fox who visited us from London Corinthians, gave us a superb body language speech, in which she talked philosophically about the celebration of life, and death.
After the break, the Topics Master Anil Ramchandani guided us through some amusing topics questions, on the theme of ‘choices’. Sarah Wills was invited to choose between a life of just fruit or just dessert; Beryl Stiles chose comfy shoes over snazzy shoes and even had the perfect props to demonstrate her point. Swan Treasure evaluated Topics and enthused about everyone’s terrific answers and then Jim McCluskey returned to comment on the grammar and the use of, his word of the day, ‘interconnectedness’. Our General Evaluator, Nigel Cutts, from London Cardinals said, “ I loved being here and would love to come again”. Best topics performance went to guest, Beryl Stiles, best evaluator to Bertie Ekperigin and best speech to Jean Cooper.
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