24th September 2008

Our 11th Autumn Contest in the frosty Hyde Room at York House began, necessarily, with a rousing warm-up!

Our genial Humorous Speech Chairman, Duncan Hyde, introduced the candidates one by one. First up was broadcaster Jeremy Nicholas, with a speech entitled “Words don’t come easy”, about how recovers from verbal gaffes. Swan Treasure astounded us, first with her milkmaid’s costume and second with her story about “The No-No Angel”, who wanted to get rid of her wings. Then came a voice out of Raymond Chandler, complete with a snappy hat and shades – it was Jim McCluskey, giving us “Mobile phones revisited”, a funny tale of strange encounters on a bus. This was followed by some first-rate acting, as posh John Craddock told us, “I wasn’t always a toff”, and proved it with a great cockney accent and lots of rhyming slang.

Andrew Klimaytys got stuck into “50, the scourge of the living”, a Saga about all the curious things which happen when you reach your half century. Next we were treated to Franco Vaccaro and “A short study of the anatomy of an investment bank and the menace of greed”. Whew! He’s decided not to become a trader after all. Sonia Aste presented her “Go to Tesco, feed the fishes, phone my mother, do the dishes” speech, about all of her to-do list tyrants, including her Medusa-haired sister!

Jim won first prize, Caine second and Sonia third.

Jenny Betts, with her elegant presence and wonderful voice, chaired the Table Topics [impromptu speaking] Contest, with 10 candidates (Gray Standen, Sonia Aste, John Craddock, Elizabeth Poole, Andrew Klimaytys, Franco Vaccaro, Celia Jones, Geetha Mazarelo,Caine B Free, Swan Treasure,) all answering the following question:

‘Ghandi said, ‘You must be the change you wish to see in the world. Do you agree?’

Gray took the question at face value and agreed with Ghandi. Sonia compared change by others to changes you make yourself, to which you have to commit. John advised people to think for themselves, be responsible for things rather than blaming others. Elizabeth advised people not to under-estimate their on influences on change. Andrew suggested making the changes you want to make. Franco talked about the trials and tribulations of changing himself, and how a guru might help.

Celia interpreted change as small change, and suggested that we give banknotes to charity, instead of coins. Geetha didn’t agree with Ghandi, saying that one could start a movement, but not finish it. Caine took an entirely different direction – straight into the pub for a night of changing drinks (beer > cocktails > etc.). Swan said that if your intentions were good, your heart would follow.

Celia won first prize, Caine won second and John won third.

The Contests were ably upported by Chief Judge Gilly Cutts and her panel of judges; by Timekeepers Andrew Dias and Neil Mason; by Counters Gail Joslin and Maria Hemming; and by Sue Kennedy, who ran an all-too-brief Table Topics session while ballots were being counted.

See the News page for photographs of the competitors, and the winners, who will go forward to the Area Contest at Trojans Speakers on Monday 6th October.